Don’t Be A Quarantine Martyr Mom

You’re not the first woman to have a husband or kids or a house to clean. Stop being a martyr and get help! Photo by Victoria Heath

Let’s have some real talk as I’ve seen so many posts about stressed moms & wives during #quarantinelife.

If you have money coming in to pay bills and food is on the table, this level of stress that people write about is absurd. It doesn’t need to be this way.

CONSIDER THESE VERSES

Ladies, complaining about being a wife or mom doesn’t make your role more valid. You can’t do it all. Photo by Fred Moon

I want you to consider these two verses and see how the concept behind them can be applied to your family life:

“How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” — Romans 10:14 ESV

“9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him — a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 ESV

TEACH YOUR FAMILY

Your children and husband aren’t too stupid to use your good kitchenware. They need to know how to feed themselves real food.

Ladies, if you have sons, daughters or a husband who don’t know how to use the appliances in your home, teach them how during #QuarantineLife.

Your family is a business & everyone should be cross-trained in using the expensive, important tools that keep your business alive.

Your tools and equipment aren’t so precious that only mom / wife is the keeper of knowledge in how to use them. You can’t complain about being run ragged if you don’t teach the family how to use & clean the tools you use, such as the:

• Dishwasher
• Washer
• Dryer
• Small appliances (stand mixer, toaster oven, blender, etc)
• Vacuum

YOU ARE NOT A MARTYR

Not getting rest is not a badge of honor. Your life won’t be Pinterest perfect, and that’s okay.

So often, women handicap their kids by doing EVERYTHING and not teaching them how to do chores, so that they can martyr themselves as the long suffering mother. Why? So they can compete in the victim olympics on social media.

Oh, they have it so rough. They had to do so many loads of laundry for their 6 kids and the house is always a mess. Their husbands and kids are so useless and never appreciate them.

Stop! Christians aren’t victims. Spouses and kids are gifts from the Lord, not something to denigrate.

HOW WILL THEY KNOW UNLESS THEY ARE TAUGHT?

It’s your job to raise future adults. Teach them the skills they need for their future. Photo by: Nathália Rosa

While yes, men shouldn’t need to be told to help take care of their own home and kids, many people grew up with either a martyr mom who did everything or parents who just didn’t know how to do certain things so they didn’t teach their kids.

For example: My father-in-law said that back in Taiwan (where my in-laws are from) do-it-yourself wasn’t a thing & they didn’t have stores like Home Depot. Because of this, people don’t know how to do DIY home projects. They also don’t bake in Asia (giant American ovens aren’t the norm.)

Because of this, my husband didn’t know how to hang curtain rods or use the Kitchenaid mixer or that butter had tablespoon markings on the wrappers, so if a recipe calls for a tablespoon of butter, just slice!

I taught him because how else would he learn?

“…How will they hear without someone preaching to them?” Same concept! Don’t assume your spouse knows how to help & is just lazy. Teach them!

EVERYONE IS CAPABLE OF CONTRIBUTING

Kids want to be useful and to receive praise from their parents. Give them age appropriate chores. Photo by Muhammadtaha Ibrahim

If your 2 year old can navigate an iPad, they can learn to sort laundry, put away toys, and help put silverware in the dishwasher. Nobody over the age of 1 is too young to be cross-trained in something in the family.

STOP PRAYING FOR THE TOOLS GOD ALREADY GAVE YOU — USE THEM!

Your husband doesn’t need you to “correct” the way he does things to your way. If it gets done, great! Photo by CDC

Don’t pray to God to help take the stress off you, use the brain God gave you and teach your family how to do the chores it takes to make your family function. (Be encouraging when you do this!)

You shouldn’t and can’t do everything on your own. But you’ll have to give up being in control. Be a good leader by teaching your family how to do these things so that you all can be stronger and more rested together.

Two are better than one and a three strand cord is not easily broken. Same concept!

NOT SURE IF YOU’RE A MARTYR MOM?

Check out these 15 signs that you might be a martyr mom.

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2. Originally posted to the YouTube Community Tab on April 19, 2020
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